Being a mother is the greatest role I have been offered to date and I don't think anything could take its place. However, I am faced with some difficult feelings around being at home full time after having worked so hard to accomplish some pretty big feats in my career life. I was grateful to not have to go back into the office full time when my daughter was born and the freedom to have playdates or run errands on almost any day of the week has been an incredible blessing and luxury that I recognize working mothers who spend their days at the office don't have. Still, my mind battles between being a stay at home mom and a working mom. When I am really struggling, I go back to gratitude. If you haven't heard the news yet, gratitude changes everything. I have had many days where I have wanted to quit: quit working, quit teaching, quit trying, quit cleaning, quit cooking, pretty much quit life. In those moments, I have taught myself to close my eyes, take a breath, and be grateful for everything I can name: my health, my family, my home, my body... the list goes on. Sometimes, I have those moments where I'm so fed up, so drained, I can't think of all the wonderful things surrounding me so I choose to just be grateful for my breath. My breath continues to move through me, keeping me alive, whether I ask it to or not. In any given moment, my breath reminds me that I am here, now. I am alive and I have a choice how I respond to the moment.
I was having a difficult week "just being a mom," so I called my mom (naturally), and as we chatted about what I made for dinner, she mentioned what an incredible service I was doing for my family my making a healthy home cooked meal. In that moment, something clicked inside of me. "Just being a mom," spending time doing "mom things" (like cooking for my family) is exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now. By spending my time, energy, and love preparing a nutrient rich meal, I am supporting the people I love in their greater purpose, teaching my children the importance of food, and creating a nurturing space for my family to come together and connect with each other. Now THAT's magical. During my experience with The Whole 30 (read the post here), I learned how much food affects your body's functioning in a much deeper way than I ever knew. In fact, when I began to reintroduce foods back into my diet, I realized how much things like wheat and dairy affected my mood and sleep, let alone my tummy. By preparing a meal that cuts "filler foods" and is filled with vitamins and minerals, I am helping my children develop and thrive, taking all the interference out of the picture. I am giving my husband the energy he needs to work with his patients, recover from his day, and sleep well. I am fueling my own body to be able to manage all the balls I have in the air, but even more- I am getting my own need of conversation with the people I love met. Having a meal together makes us slow down. When we do, we have a chance to make memories. Seriously magical. Now, I'm not saying that if you roast a chicken, time will stop and your family will turn into the Brady Bunch and everyone will hold hands and sing "Kumbaya". What I am saying is that all you moms out there feeling like you are drowning, you're not. You are working your butt off, and it matters, so don't quit. Slow down, find gratitude where you are, and never underestimate the magic of a healthy, home cooked meal.
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