Kathryn Budig is a yogi, author, and foodie whose practice I follow because her incredible beauty in yoga postures inspires me to practice myself and become stronger. When I found out she would be at my home studio, You & the Mat, I knew I had to go learn from my favorite yogi. The first night she discussed her point of view when it comes to yoga and life in general. Her motto is "Aim True". She challenged us to figure out what aiming true meant to each of us in our lives and in our practice. There was an emphasis on being kind to yourself in the process. We can use cruel words without consciousness especially through our self talk, which is damaging and counterintuitive to reach our goals. What are those goals? This question was not too difficult to answer for myself and held true for both my practice of yoga and life. My goal is to become stronger. When I watch Kathryn move into a particularly challenging pose, I used to sit in awe and immediately tell myself, "There is no way I'll ever be able to do that." Without even trying, I am defeating myself coming from a place of fear.
My mom told me a long time ago that in any moment you can choose to be in love or in fear. It is so easy for us to stumble down the fear road, what would it look like if you moved into love? To come from love rather than be held captive by your fear? Ms. Budig brought love versus fear up during her lecture time with the class and urged us to wake up each morning being reminded to live in love by writing loving words on your bathroom mirror. It is true that we often look in the mirror criticizing what we see rather than seeing what is beautiful and so right with the reflection that looks back at us. My "aim true" quickly became "I am strong." I have always seen myself as somewhat of an athlete but I have been too caught up in what I looked like rather than allowing my body to become the best version of itself so I would take shortcuts and become lazy in my physical efforts. This began to change when I was pregnant. For the first time I began to see purpose my body and began to respect it far more than I ever had. After having my baby I started to fall back into my negative patterns and become frustrated that I was not able to do what I could before my pregnancy. I am learning that with determination, practice, and patience, my body is becoming stronger. Even stronger than it was before pregnancy. One thing I know about myself is I am very sensitive. I have embraced this about my personality and believe it allows me to be as loving and compassionate as I am. However, being sensitive has been seen by myself and others as weakness and has at times shown weakness through reactivity. What I believe now is I can be sensitive AND strong. That is my work, and it is now my motto, "I am strong." Both in my yoga practice and in my life, Kathryn Budig has helped me realize that I am strong. I now practice my handstands each day with confidence and joy. Frustration melts away when I am loving and gentle with my strong self. I challenge you to be loving toward yourself as you determine how to aim true and set goals for yourself. Thank you, Kathryn Budig, for a wonderful weekend. You ARE an excellent teacher.
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