This is a letter to my two and a half year old, two months after her little brother was born. As I watch her process through this huge transition there are so many things I want to tell her that she won't understand yet. I can only hope that this letter will reach her later upon looking back at our experience together and feel loved. Dear Reese, We have undergone some intense changes these last few months and I am so incredibly proud of you and grateful for the way you have hung in there with your daddy and I. We moved into a new home just months before introducing another child into your life; a child who would stand in your spotlight and draw so much of my attention. Through these changes daddy and I have had some hard moments, and it breaks my heart to admit that you have been privy to some of those moments. It will probably be a very long time before you understand this letter, but I am writing it anyways as a reminder of the things I want you to know and understand as you get older and look back on this time in our family's history. 1. Daddy and I will be ok. I don't ever want you to worry about your daddy and I. Daddy and I are very different, which is one of the best things about who we are as a couple. He is good at things that I am not very good at and I excel in areas he struggles with. These differences create strain on our relationship once in a while and sometimes you see us in our disagreements. You are so astute to notice when mommy is having a 'hard time', which just solidifies my belief that you have my empathetic heart and sensitive spirit. I want to put your mind at ease that your daddy and I love each other SO much and no matter what, we are committed to growing as a couple and as parents to create the most loving and supportive environment for all four of us. We will continue to work on facing our differences and disagreements away from you and your brother, but I know you sense our energies and emotions. I want our family to be honest about how we are feeling and what we are experiencing, so if you need to express yourself please share and know that we will listen. Sweet girl, please know that daddy and mommy will be ok and we will never give up on each other or you. 2. You are irreplaceable. It was not long ago I took the sign out of your nursery that said, "No one will ever know the strength of my love for you, after all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside." That sign is now your chalkboard and growing with you. Now, you have a big girl room and now you share your role of "my child" with a new person. A person we are just getting to know and a person who requires a lot of my attention right now. Although I share this enormous love for both you and your brother, I want you to know that my love has not split in half, it has multiplied. When I think about just how special you are, it fills me with joy. Nobody can take away the unique bond we share. There is not another person on this earth who runs to me with open arms to be caught and wrapped up, toppling us to the ground in giggles. There is nobody else who has taught me as much about unconditional love as you, my first baby. You were the first person I housed in my body. You were the reason I began to take even better care of myself through pregnancy because I wanted you to be as healthy as possible. I am eternally grateful for that. You have taught me just as much as I have taught you in our two and a half years together. You are special and I will spend the rest of my days trying to make sure you know that. 3. I see you. The "Mommy, look at me!" days have begun. You love to show me how you dance and twirl your dresses. You love dressing up in beautiful clothes, i.e. my flowy shirts and bathing suit cover-ups. You are exploring with your abilities and so proud to show me what you are able to do. I want you to know that I see you. Even when I may seem busy or distracted, I will do my best to make sure I look at you when you need it or request it. Know that when I am not looking, I still see you. You are pure light. You are a beautifully emotional and gentle soul. You love big and I see that in how you love your baby brother. Your excitement when he looks and smiles at you, your random kisses and snuggles when you don't think I am watching, your always making sure he is okay and letting me know when he is upset or needs me, all show me how caring you are. You are kind and funny, energetic and independent, and innocent and beautiful. If you ever lose sight of who you are and need help finding your way back, come to me and I will help remind you because I see you. 4. I hear you. Reesey, you have so many words and are still so young. I can imagine that it must be challenging for you to express everything that is going on in that little mind, but you are doing an excellent job and I am listening. A couple of weeks ago as we were leaving a store you wanted me to pick you up. I was wearing your little brother in a wrap but picked you up into my arms and carried you both to the car along with the 3 shopping bags I had in my hands (thank goodness I work out!). When I picked you up, you looked right into my eyes and said, "Mommy, I need you." I know you do, my love. I hear that you still need me to cuddle you and carry you and show you how special you are to me. I am listening when you say, "I need mommy," to daddy in the middle of the night. And so I come to you and hold you as you fall back asleep. It is a privilege to be needed by you and I am listening to your words. Continue talking to me and I promise to do my best to understand you. As we move through this life together we will have miscommunications and arguments but I will always work to really hear what you are telling me. 5. Daddy and I will ALWAYS love you. There is nothing you could do that could change how much your daddy and I love you. You are so special and lovely and we will do our best to make sure you always feel that way.
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