This weekend was full of fun plans with friends, until my baby woke up with a cold. She had been coming down with a little something for a couple of days so we had been at home resting gearing up for the weekend. Finally, Saturday rolls around and I am ready to get out of the house! Poor baby woke up early and couldn't latch on to eat because her nose was stuffed up. That's when I saw the look in her eyes. The look that said, "I need you mommy." I told my husband to go on without me. He had a basketball team relying on him to play in their yearly tournament. My typical reaction to this would be to be bummed and frustrated that I was stuck inside on yet another beautiful day in Southern California. And I was slightly down when my husband left and that's when something in me shifted. Not only did my motherly instinct kick in to protect my baby, something bigger spoke to me.
I have a choice. I had a choice to be upset or not. I could choose a million different things in that moment, I didn't have to choose to be frustrated and sad. Of course, I was missing out on a fun event that only comes around once a year. Nothing about that is fun, but I also know I can choose to enjoy the moment as it is. I have an opportunity now to catch up on some reading I have been wanting to do. I can make myself a green juice and take care of myself and my little girl who is in need of some good rest in her crib. My day isn't ruined at all, it is just a matter of perspective and choice. This example is pretty simple and straightforward. But this idea can be brought into any aspect of our lives. Although there is not always a bright side to look at in any given situation, how we view it and how we choose to move forward is completely, 100% in our control. Sometimes it is simply about figuring out what choices you have in any given situation and choosing what serves you best. I used to work with children who have autism. I often worked with older, higher functioning children because I had a way of connecting with them and guiding them through their frustrations. One way I taught them to deal with moments they were struggling with was through a character "Superflex." Superflex was a superhero who battled evil doers like "Rock Brain" who was a bad guy who would make you get stuck on your ideas. Does any of this sound familiar? So how does Superflex win? He takes a look at the situation and the options for how to handle any difficult moment then picks the best one; the choice that has the best outcome. I would literally create situational stories these kids may find themselves in and we would write down all the possible options of how to act in the situation. We would also write out what the consequences of each action could be. Then we would pick which one was best. As difficult situations occurred in these kid's lives, I would prompt them to talk out all the possible ways they could react and remind them of what the consequences could be depending on their choice. This helped them generalize the skills they were learning into their everyday lives. As adults, we are much more capable of using this skill than children with autism. So often, we don't use it. It's time for us to stop, look at our choices, and choose according to what best serves us and those around us. Changing this pattern of behavior in our own lives can teach us to become at peace with what is and stop making ourselves miserable wishing things were different. India Arie's new album Songversation is BEAUTIFUL! She has a way with words that seriously touches my soul. Here are the lyrics to her song Break the Shell, download it if you can:
I met a prophet dark as the night She could see into my soul Said she'd been watching and had some advice She said shadows make you whole A life without pain is a wolf in sheep's clothes Cause if you listen to the lessons that it holds You'll find the gold Child it's time to break the shell Life's gonna hurt but it's meant to be felt You cannot touch the sky from inside yourself You cannot fly until you break the shell I can remember when I was a child How the grown folks seemed so crazy Why are they so angry, why are they so loud? And when I grow up that's never ever gonna be me That was the moment that I decide That I would build a wall just shy of six feet tall Too strong to fall Child it's time to break the shell Life's gonna hurt but it's meant to be felt You cannot touch the sky from inside yourself You cannot fly until you break the shell Courage is not being hard It's time to peel back all of the layers You put between who You're meant to be And who You are And go be who You are So much disappointment to finally understand That there is no such thing as perfect Were all simply doing the best that we can And we have a choice to live or truly be alive (This is your life) Child it's time to break the shell Life's gonna hurt but it's meant to be felt You cannot touch the sky from inside yourself You cannot fly until You break the shell Child it's time to break the shell Life's gonna hurt but it's meant to be felt You cannot touch the sky from inside yourself A bird cannot fly until it breaks the shell Do with these words what you will It's time for us to be for real You'll be stuck on the ground until You finally break the shell I adore hiking. It creates adventure in my life and I appreciate the earth's beauty EVERY TIME I go hiking. It can be centering if you go alone and bonding when you share the experience with others. Hiking can invigorate your spirit while conditioning your body. For people looking to get fit or lose weight, hiking is a great place to start. You burn a lot of calories while taking in the scenic world around you. I urge anyone struggling with depression to hike. Getting a cardiovascular workout increases seratonin levels in your brain (the "happy" chemical) and I find it hard to be upset when marveling at the beauty the earth possesses. Get out, get moving, get happy!
My friend and yoga mentor, Colleen, introduced me to this amazing smoothie. She was completely obsessed so I had to try it for myself and now I am completely obsessed. It is super easy to make and tastes decadent. I know you are probably thinking nothing with "Kale" in the title could be considered decadent, but trust me, this is. The original recipe and inspiration come from Gwyneth Paltrow's latest cookbook, It's All Good. The same day Colleen told me about the recipe, I saw this book at Whole Foods. It was destiny. There are some seriously delicious ideas in this book and all come from a fabulously healthy perspective. I love the information this book shares with people. It describes the good reasons for cooking without sugar, dairy, gluten, and soy, and shows you can still enjoy delectable dishes without these potentially toxic substances. Not that they are toxic for all people, but many people have intolerances to these foods and any of these foods should be limited in all diets for optimal health and wellness. That being said, don't even ask me to give up the cream in my morning coffee. The original recipe calls for soaked almonds but I skip these in order to make it quicker and easier. Sometimes I leave out the coconut oil as well. Coconut oil is fabulous for you, and although high in fat, it also helps you burn fat. Sounds weird but it's true. Feel free to ask my husband why. Here is what I put in it that is just slightly different than what Gwyneth recommends:
All you need to do now is throw it into the magic bullet (or any blender will do- we actually have a fancy Vitamix but I prefer the less mess magic bullet) for about 1 1/2 to 2 minutes. I like to add ice before I drink up. I have been making this smoothie on an almost daily basis and feel fantastic. I am breastfeeding and notice that my little one has no gas issues after I start my day with one of these. In comparison, when I have a bagel with cream cheese, she is fussy and gassy. Maybe there is something to be said for taking out gluten and dairy... Planned or unexpected, most women are overloaded with thoughts, feelings, and information when they find out they are pregnant. Like most women, I began the search for "all the right things to do" while carrying my baby. While there are definitely some clear cut do's (eat lots of leafy green vegetables and take a good prenatal vitamin) and don'ts (smoke and drink tequila), there is a lot of grey area where people become very opinionated and a bit intense. This is just the beginning of all the advice that will be ushered onto your plate, wanted or not. Some is helpful advice and some is unnecessarily judgmental. Don't let that bring you down. The last thing you need is to stress. Stress can be detrimental to your health and your baby's development so the first thing you can do in order to have a healthy pregnancy is RELAX. This was something I needed to learn how to do. Here is a list things I that made a difference for me throughout my pregnancy: 1. Relax: As an overachiever and extreme multi-tasker my whole life, relaxing was something I missed along the way. I had been taking different exercise classes, including yoga ever since I could remember but when I became pregnant, things changed. Instead of using yoga classes as a way to burn calories, I found a fabulous prenatal yoga class that gave me time to quiet my mind and focus on my body and my baby. I was so inspired, I decided to become a registered yoga teacher myself. The more I learn and practice, the more balanced and relaxed I feel on a day to day basis. I am currently reading a book called Yoga as Medicine by Dr. Timothy McCall, and in it he cites many studies supporting yoga's ability to treat many illnesses and conditions including stress. Taking time to relax throughout my pregnancy also helped get me in a routine of taking time for myself, which I believe helped greatly in the postpartum stage keeping me sane during the "baby blues". 2. Move: In addition to taking yoga twice a week after work, I made sure I walked on a daily basis. Having a dog was a big help here because there were a lot of days that the last thing I wanted to do was walk. Regardless of how I felt, Kairo needed to get out. We would walk about 2 miles around the university near our house at around sunset. Although the walks became slower and took longer the bigger I got, there wasn't one walk I regretted. After every walk, my body felt better and I had more energy every time. When you are pregnant, your body releases Relaxin, a hormone to help your joints loosen up so you can push a watermelon out of the keyhole in your body. The relaxin can allow your joints, bones, and ligaments to shift which, with the extra weight, can cause back pain. Luckily, my husband is a chiropractor so I would get worked on regularly. Chiropractic is extremely important in pregnancy because even if you are healthy and moving, you can be in pain. Taking medication is not a smart option but chiropractic manipulations and stretching can take pressure off the nerve impingements causing pain. A good chiropractor will also give you homework and stretches to do at home to help prevent pain from occurring. 3. Read: I read many books while I was pregnant. I wanted to have a natural vaginal birth and read all kinds of books, blogs, and magazine articles on the subject. I prepared myself for the possibility of not being able to give birth naturally so I wouldn't be stressed if it wasn't an option, but I built my plan around natural child birth. Whatever kind of birth you want is up to you but researching your options is an important step for you to know what is best for you and your baby. My favorite book I read was Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn. It gave me the most detailed information and I felt like it was a comprehensive overview of what I could expect. 4. Listen: Listen to the voice inside. As women, we are given intuition that men don't have. I believe this intuition helps us guide important decisions about how to nurture ourselves and our babies. Listen to your instincts and listen to your body. Don't be afraid of things people may tell you, rather research things for yourself and combine your knowledge with your intuition and you can't go wrong. Wherever you are in your pregnancy journey, I encourage you to take a look at what types of healthy behaviors you would like to include in your day to day life to create a positive environment for your baby. And don't forget to focus on how incredible the experience is. Trust me, it just gets better...
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