Giving birth is one of life's most miraculous moments and those of us who are lucky enough to have the experience will never forget our birth stories. My husband and I were thrilled to find out we were pregnant for the second time and although we would have liked to experience a home or birth center birth, we chose to move forward with a hospital birth for the insurance coverage and financial considerations. My first birth was an overall wonderful experience. I knew I wanted to have a natural non-medicated birth from the beginning. My doctor was on board with my plan for my first delivery and I was able to deliver my baby girl in the hospital with no medication or epidural. What a success! Not to say I didn't have to fight a bit for it. The labor and delivery nurse for my first birth wanted to get me hooked up for fluids and we went back and forth a number of times before she consulted my doctor, who respected my decision to refuse the IV, recognizing I was showing no risk factors. Unfortunately for me, giving birth in a hospital with no medical intervention whatsoever is a rarity.
With the experience I had with my daughter, I had no reservations about going back to the same doctor and planning to have the same experience with my son. Over the course of my prenatal care, I noticed some changes in the care I was receiving. The office was busier on a regular basis. I was waiting well over an hour for every single appointment (with my toddler). It took approximately 15 minutes just to speak with someone at the front desk when I called in. My doctor was quick to prescribe unnecessary medications for mild symptoms and let me know a c-section was a possibility because my baby was presenting breech at 28 weeks. 28 weeks! The baby had plenty of time to shift into proper birthing position (which he did) and this discussion created anxiety in me that could have been avoided altogether. After waiting almost 2 hours and needing to leave for another appointment, I left my doctor's office at 35 weeks pregnant with no plans to return. This may have been an emotional decision driven by hormones and a two hours with a two year old at a doctor's office, but I look back and don't regret the decision at all. As women, we have the right to guide the experience we want when it comes to the birth of our child. Regardless of what you want, a natural delivery, a planned c-section, an epidural, the choice is yours and no woman should feel pressured by her provider to do what the provider wants. I am not talking about high risk pregnancies or true emergency situations, but situations in which the mother is being blindly led into a less desirable birth option than what she truly wants and is capable of having. Too often, I hear stories of women being persuaded to have a c-section because it is more convenient, or being told their baby needs to be induced when they are in a no risk situation (or even early!). After taking my stand and walking out of the office, I was fairly confident that I could find a great referral from all the wonderful resources I had built in my community. I received a number of referrals, but being so close to my due date, every office I called was full. I started to get nervous and called on a doula who many of my friends birthed with; a woman who is highly respected in the natural birthing world in Southern California. She gave me the name of a midwife who was part of a large medical group in the area. I was hesitant because I had heard mixed reviews of this medical group and I was leaving a big medical group because of the bureaucracy I was sure to find with another large group. I called the group and was thrilled to hear that this midwife had availability for my birth. They asked me to have my previous doctor send my medical records over so I called that day to have them sent. A couple of nights later, I began having contractions. I could tell they were false labor contractions, but they were strong enough to wake me up. I still hadn't heard back from the new office to schedule me in and I began to worry the baby may come and I would have to call on the doctor I left to deliver my son. The next morning, I called the new office and they still wouldn't schedule me because they hadn't received the records. Two days later, my husband and I were sitting in church and a few minutes into the service, I noticed a woman walk in with two strapping looking young men (yes, I said strapping and if you saw them you would say so too). The woman looked strangely familiar but I couldn't quite place her at first. I soon realized she was the midwife I was trying to get in to see! As the service went on, I noticed a theme in the message... "Have faith in my plans for you." Regardless of religious affiliation, I truly believe we have no reason to worry as our path is set forth by something greater than ourselves. We have choices in how we respond and live our lives and the way to find freedom and joy is to live fully in the present moment. When you find yourself worrying about what the future holds, you are missing the present moment and there is no greater gift than the beauty of the now. Before running into my midwife at church (what I call my Divine intervention), all I could do was worry about what my birth was going to look like if I didn't find another provider. This did nothing for me but stress my body and my baby. Let go, let God, and look up- not out. After the service, I came up to her and asked her if she was who I thought she was and when she affirmed my suspicions, I broke into tears. She took my hands and warmly comforted me. Not only did she talk with me for 20 minutes, she scheduled me in and gave me her cell phone number in case I thought the baby would come early. At my appointment she spent time with me going over everything she and I needed to communicate before the birth and I walked out feeling more confident than ever. On September 1st, at 3:07 p.m., Jameson Everett Allen came into the world. My midwife gave me the incredible gift of walking me through a natural delivery. She sat by my husband's and my side as I endured the pain and intensity of my contractions. She held me both physically and emotionally and guided me through the most beautiful experience I could have ever asked for. I will never forget my angel, my midwife, Lisa Sherwood. Pregnant women, I offer you this: no matter what you are told through your pregnancy, your birth is yours and if you dig deep and get in touch with your body and your baby, your instinct and intuition will guide you to what birth experience is right for you. Listen to the voice within and trust it. I am so glad I did.
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