Becoming a mother is just as incredible as everyone always makes it out to be. Sharing a love and bond with your children is one the most beautiful gifts this life has to offer. Parenting is also one of the most challenging, grueling, and trying things you can add to your life. When you are expecting a baby you hear the gamut of positive and negative comments which seems confusing at first, but then you get it.... "Oh my goodness, when you look into your baby's eyes you will feel the most indescribable, perfect love ever!" to, "Good luck, having kids is the hardest thing you'll ever do." That first year of your child's life is a whirlwind of long nights, beautiful first moments, exhausted frustration, pure bliss, and you realize that all of those comments fit because being a parent is hard AND amazing at the same time. Because parenting can be consuming (especially in those first few years your child is so dependent on you), we often forget to take care of ourselves.
I am proud to admit that self care has been a big part of my life over the last few years. I became a yoga instructor, which helped me find balance in my mind and body. I started to focus on how food affected me and began making better choices resulting in more energy and a stronger body. I took time to build relationships with friends and loved ones. All of these things brought a sense of calm and balance to my life that resulted in a positive state of being. Then I had a baby. That balance was thrown so far off between lack of sleep, hormonal shifts, complete overhaul of my life routine, family expectations, marriage challenges, and on and on... I was a mess and needed a change. I didn't even realize it at first and when I was first invited to a breastfeeding support group I declined because I believed I had everything under control. The next time I was invited I decided to go because I just needed to get out of the house. Little did I know, I would meet some of the most amazing mothers who would become a huge support system for me in the years to come. This was the beginning of rebalancing and reaching out. Over the next couple of years, I began a new routine that was a little chaotic at times, but still greatly beneficial to getting back to my self care intentions. I would walk almost everyday, even those days it seemed unbearable to put on my shoes and get out of the house with a baby. Being active not only helps your body feel good again after giving birth, it also get your endorphins going so after I would walk, I literally felt like I was in a better mood. I also picked up a few yoga classes to teach. My husband and I worked out a schedule and I would go do something I loved and felt great about a few times a week. Connecting with others and having just a little time away from baby was rejuvenating. Just when this new routine was feeling right, I got pregnant again and everything went haywire. I was so sick those first few months, I couldn't walk and could barely keep food down. I guess my point here is that taking care of yourself is HARD work and as soon as you think you have it down to a science, everything changes. It is hard as a mother to take time for yourself. This is something I hear all the time. I get it. It is HARD and often times I don't want to leave to go teach a class or pack everything up to go for a long walk. It is hard to schedule in "mommy time" away from your children. I promise you will be a better mother for it. When you feel good, how much of a better mom are you? I know that I am able to engage with my daughter and pay attention to the things she needs so much better when I feel happy and positive. So, go take that yoga class, book an appointment with your chiropractor or get a massage, take an evening to go have a glass of wine with a girlfriend. I know you don't have time. Make time. Put it on the calendar and don't cancel. The grueling day to day work of being a parent can truly affect how you parent so do the work and take the time to be the best you can be. Your children are watching you and paying close attention. They will model what you do in their own lives and don't you want them to be as happy and healthy as they can be too?
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